- Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
- When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.
- The quickest way to a man's heart is through Jack Bauer's gun.
- You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.
- Jack Bauer's family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child. Once.
- If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
- 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
- If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Myers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
- Upon hearing that he was played by Keifer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
- Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
- Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
- Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
- Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
- Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
- Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.
- Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
- People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.
- Jack Bauer helped U2 find what they were looking for. (That one is for you Cami)
- Jack Bauer would have gotten the ring to Mordor in 24 hours.
- If you know something Jack Bauer doesn't, chances are you don't have any fingers left.
- If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
The following post takes place between 10:55 and 11:15 pm on Jan 31...
If you like 24, you'll like these Jokes. If you don't like 24, Jack Bauer probably knows, and your coordinates are being uploaded to his PDA at this very moment. Props to Tyler for passing along the jokes.
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8 comments:
Thank you, Thanks you. I am afraid that since Jack was not attributed any props.....he might come and try to tak...............................
........
You forgot this one:
When you spell Jack Bauer in scrabble, you win. Forever.
I love these. Jack is the man. Though I have no time for 24, sadly, I do so love it anyway.
Awesome! I like the U2 one for sure, but I know every LDS missionary who likes U2 will be sad that THEY didn't help them find it (it's the ultimate dream, they say). I laughed really hard at the "Let's get one thing straight" one.
Do not underestimate the Power of Bauer!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. It's true , it's true! Very funny, Matt. Thanks.
Where did Superman get those pajama pants? I want some. This list could go on and on (like all of our stalag-lame jokes) but I think this one should be added:
Jack Bauer can kill you with both hands and feet tired down...with his teeth.
with Jack Bauer on duty, I can sleep well.
How come there is not one that says we need to do everything "NOW!" He says that at least once in every episode!
Good call Amber, and how about. "When is this going to happen?"
Answer "Within the hour"
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