Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Area man posts "Next Hundred Things..."
An area man has posted his "Next Hundred things" much to the dismay of his 2-3 regular readers. Says one reader about this bombardment of unwanted personal information: "It's uhhh...well It's just not that interesting." Our repeated phone calls to the mans office were not returned.
- I enjoy a Cold 44oz soda most than most things. Lots of ice. Usually Diet Mtn. Dew (DMD) with a few shots of cherry flavor. (Fake Diet Code Red (DCR).) I can nurse one of those for a day or two if I try. I like to add limes as well.
- One of my favorite things to do is try on gloves. I'm always searching for the perfect fit. I recently found a perfect fit in some shooting gloves at Cabellas.
- There is a mod chip in my OG Xbox.
- I listen to NPR. My favorite shows are Car Talk and This American Life. An epidode of This American Life made me cry last week. (This episode. You can listen free from their website.)
- I know a bunch of Yo Yo tricks which I do with my left hand. I learned them all from John Neilson. Jackson is learning them.
- I also shoot with my left hand.
- I also eat with my left hand. I'm partly sinister.
- My nickname in High School was "Simon." (I liked to do drawrings)
- I like going to General Conference at the Conference Center.
- We wax our cars at least 4 times per year. And I'm not talking about the spray on jobbie at the car wash. I'm talking Clean, Polish, Wax. Even my scratched up truck gets the treatment.
- I enjoy Peanut Butter.
- I saw Rod Stewart at the Super Fresh one night.
- I'm terrible at Scrabble, but I love to play. I also love Monopoly.
- My hair is currently in the "Ugly Phase." Soon it will be in the "Uglier" phase.
- I wear nose strips when I sleep, to cut down on the snoring. Sometimes it hurts to remove them. Other times, I can't find them in the morning.
- To be funny, I like using the word "Ones" to describe thing. Any old things.
- I hate my current cell phone, but am too thrifty to buy a new one. I'll wait until I'm eligible for a "free" one.
- I support my sons Hot Wheels habit. Sometimes I play with them too, even when my son is not around.
- I take action photos on the side to make extra money. It's part of my 10 year plan.
- At this moment, I am installing X11 on my laptop, so I can run some useful Open Source apps.
- I love any song that features a robot voice.
- I had lobster for lunch this week. How fancy!
- I play a video game via email with friends (much like playing Chess by mail.) It takes about 3 minutes a day to play, and a game lasts about a year.
- According to this site: http://www.vajoe.com/candidate_calculator.html I am supposed to vote for Businessman John Cox for president. ?!
- I tend not to react to most things very quickly. I'm not good at on-the-spot decisions and usually regret actions, decisions and comments made in haste.
- I love Cortnie, and wouldn't trade the last 10 years for anything.
- Jackson is my ultimate #1 dude. Totally complete.
- Some things that make laugh uncontrollably make my wife roll her eyes and sometimes leave the room. Example: The Three Stooges.
- I secretly enjoy the movie A Walk to Remember staring Mandy Moore and Shane West.
- I carry a man-bag. It was the best move I ever made. I'm never going back. It's difficult to find a bag that fits my style. So far, I've only found 1.
- I was wondering if you'd like to meet me in my quarters this night...for some toast.
- Every morning, I have a craving to watch music videos. I'm not sure where that came from.
- I would move back to Kansas.
- A policeman un-holstered and aimed a gun at me once.
- I think the name Valentine would be excellent for a girl. After years and years, my wife still thinks I'm joking.
- I enjoy sunflower seeds.
- I don't like those little particles that float around in the air. When I drive into the sun, they're easy to see and make me feel like I'm choking by breathing them in. I open my window a crack, and watch them gravitate outside. I feel so much better once they're gone.
- I have a friend that I am in "Cahoots" with. We are often thinking the same things, doing the same things, saying the same things, and listening to the same music at the same time. It's a common enough occurrence that it doesn't surprise us anymore. It used to make our friends in college so mad.
- My wife always knows the gender of a close friend or family members baby a few months before they announce their pregnancy. She has been 100% accurate over the past 10 years.
- People making up parking spots is my worst annoyance. I think Mormons are the main offenders. (There are ALWAYS spots in the back guys...you don't need to park in the driveway of the church.)
- I don't like it when people hide from Cameras. Once I shot an Indian wedding for a friend. After every picture I took, the subjects of the photo each thanked me for taking their picture. It was a refreshing change. Kids are also great at getting their photo snapped. Ethan Turpin is extremely photogenic, and comfortable in front of a camera.
- I sleep walk 4-5 times per week. Lately, I've even been going outside. I usually wake up just enough to know I need to get back in bed in such a way that Cortnie thinks I'm still asleep, but it's all still part of the dream/sleep-walk shenanigan.
- I want laser eye surgery, but my eyes are too bad for it. For the past 19 years I've been keeping up with the progress. The advanced badness of my eyes is still no match for technology.
- I secretly want to be a reporter.
- I've had a double hernia surgery. Hard times.
- Ever since I lived in Kansas, I enjoy country music, but not if it's sung by a man (Mantry). In fact, even some of the women country singers are too much for me. Kelly Willis is my favorite. Hearing her music feels like going home to me.
- I tried on some short socks a few years ago, and haven't looked back. I tossed my long socks, and am always on the prowl for short, thin sicks. The shorter the better. I have short socks for church.
- I am a huge fan of my Old Man.
- To an un-expressible extreme, I dislike shopping at Wal-Mart. I'd rather pay higher prices elsewhere.
- My son and I do doughnuts in the truck when it snows. Somehow, my wife allows this.
- When our kid was colicky, we used to turn on the vacuum which calmed him immediately. I quickly made a cd of continuous Hoover-vacuum sound which we played for him for weeks and weeks. It always did the trick.
- When my internet connection is down, I am nervous and uncomfortable. It's no way to live.
- I do not handle stress well.
- I prefer to give prepared talks in Church. I like to read them from the pulpit, and my talks never start with jokes and anecdotes about my talk preparation or "When the Bishop called me and asked..." of "I was asked to speak on...."
- I have been on 3 cruises. 2 of which I actually enjoyed.
- Taking so many physics classes in college has ruined me a little bit. Knowing that everything is connected threatens to make me crazy. A teacher once explained that to the smallest, most unmeasurable and infinitesimal amount, every time I take a step it causes the position of the earth to change. Same with moving around in a room. Every molecule of air is affected by every move of my muscle however small. This makes me nervous.
- My son calls me "dude" sometimes. It makes me proud.
- We have a nice big HD TV which is hooked up rabbit ears. We kinda get channels 11, 13 and sometimes 7.
- I have had a lot of Churchy opportunities lately...outside the orphanage.
- When I'm stressed out, I tend to spend money. It's a protest of sorts.
- I have a bad memory. But I have some extremely vivid memories of my childhood. In fact, I think I have more vivid childhood memories, than I have vivid memories of last week.
- It used to really bother me when my possessions were scratched or dinged. Watches, cell phones, cars etc. I remember the exact point when I gave that up, and decided to accept it. Now when it happens, it's a bit of a relief. I actually like my things better with a few battle-wounds.
- I refuse to buy books with movie-covers. "Now a Major Motion Picture." Pa-lease.
- I secretly want Luke Skywalkers hair.
- I am pretty sure that 1/3 of these are duplicates of my last 100 things.
- I am fairly certain that this will be my last 100 things...this is painful. I don't like talking about myself.
- I have a hard time shaking a grumpy attitude.
- I enjoy reading and listening to Naval Fiction novels. Especially when they contain CVBG's and/or Submarines.
- I use the online service plaxo.com as my address book. It's extremely convenient.
- When I as kid, I lost 3 or 4 pairs of glasses to our dog chewing them to death.
- Watching the news drives me crazy, and I rarely do it. I feel like they're trying to "sell" me the news. I can't stand being sold on things by strangers.
- I enjoy using linux, and will be happy to get anyone started on it. However, I'm no zealot. I think OS X is fantastic, and Windows is..well...still windows.
- It is possible that I am the only person in the state of Utah that understands how to use the HOV lane. I know I know, there are so many rules...how can we expect people to get it?!
- I love using the tie-down straps that I keep in my truck. Every time I do, it adds mental value to my truck. Currently it's worth hundreds of thousands of dollars, and is not for sale (so don't ask!)
- I miss living close to Emily, KC, Camille, Jake, Ethan and Jefferson.
- I never learned the months in school. I think I was absent that day, or something. I still have trouble keeping track of what comes next, and which have 30 days etc. Part of me is still a 7 year old.
- I look for humor in almost everything.
- Amber absolutely cracks me up with 99% of the things she says.
- Todd absolutely cracks me up with 100% of the things he says.
- I love draw string bags.
- I once tried to save some fish that had bleach poured in their tank.....it was too late.
- I hate saxaphone music.
- I want a motorcycle really bad, but I'll never buy one.
- I am not very good at music lyrics...I think they say something completely different then what they say.
- My wife says I am addicted to computers.....I have one in my hands at all times.
- I love caseroles
- I love blistex and gold bond.
- I want cereal for every meal.
- I can tinker on the harmonica, guitar, piano, trupet, drums, and eukelele. I can't play any of them.
- I am afraid of graveyards.
- I do not like to be tickled or scared.
- I love the term "cold one"
- Once, the main giant doors of the SLC temple were opened for me so I could go in.
- I cried a little when I sold my Maxima.
- I have never fired a pistol.
- The end of the Lemony Snicket books was a disappointment to me. I'm still a little mad about it.
- I participated in a parade in Salem MA, thought of as the home of the Salem Which Trials.
- I once won a major award. Statistically, it'll never happen to me again.
- I'm totally excited for my sister Elise. Complete.
- My sister thinks I got away with everything during high school.
- There are only 2% odds that anyone will live to 100 years of age.
- I have seen and touched the worlds largest sneaker, cross and ear of corn during the same week.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
A Thanksgography by Matt and Jack...
We came together with a few local families today for Thanksgiving dinner. JackAttack and I took turns with the camera, and came up with some interesting (I think) shots. Here they are in a kinda of order with a few comments. It was very positive and memorable event.
The finished bird. Dad did a great job. Food not pictured, but notable: Delicious spicy stuffing by mom. Fantastic yam dish by Cortnie which Todd had seconds of (his first time actually enjoying Yams!) Sweet pies by Costco and Cortnie. Excellent Crem Fresh potatoes, green beans and salad by Mom. Gravy by Matt. And others.
Mom knows just the right moment to start some items so they reach the table at the correct temperature.
Sometimes people think that exposures made by 7 year olds won't be seen by anyone. :) Jordan was talking up BYU all day. We have a gentlemans wager on the game this weekend. I have a trip to IHOP to lose, but some babysitting to gain. Come on The U.
The finished bird. Dad did a great job. Food not pictured, but notable: Delicious spicy stuffing by mom. Fantastic yam dish by Cortnie which Todd had seconds of (his first time actually enjoying Yams!) Sweet pies by Costco and Cortnie. Excellent Crem Fresh potatoes, green beans and salad by Mom. Gravy by Matt. And others.
Time for the electric knife. Note the T-Shirt from the race Amber organized that we all ran this morning. All the kids even ran.
The girls on a walk we took after dinner. Turns out Mom and Dad are serious about walking, and take the long route. Alyson fed that doll for about 45 minutes straight. In the end, Alyson ended up asleep wrapped in my hoodie. Jillian was zipped up and wearing my socks on her hands. (I had socks in my pocket for some reason, and I was wearing my dads flip flops.) Everyone was tired and full and feeling good.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
A funny line...
This movie is pretty funny, but one line in it is hilarious. Right after they make him work out.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iz9ftyyqkFM
Thats how I feel after I work out. I'm still laughing about it.
Props to Trav for sending me the video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iz9ftyyqkFM
Thats how I feel after I work out. I'm still laughing about it.
Props to Trav for sending me the video.
Friday, November 02, 2007
A quick link...
Ok ok...it's getting old. But I wanted to show the final product here. The shot of Jack on the Pumpkin made it onto dci.org.
http://www.dci.org/media/photo/2007/index.cfm#id=album_22&num=32
Some really spectacular entries there. We're already planning next years.
PS, I'm working on a new "100 Things" so stay tuned...
http://www.dci.org/media/photo/2007/index.cfm#id=album_22&num=32
Some really spectacular entries there. We're already planning next years.
PS, I'm working on a new "100 Things" so stay tuned...
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Vanguard-O-Lantern...
Here is the finished product. We chose the crest of moms corps, and we like the result. Especially since this is our first pumpkin endeavor that is anywhere near ambitious. Before this, it's been triangles and jaggedy teeth. Jack surely is a chip of the old Pumpkin. He can name the year and corps of many performances by listening to them. (I'm getting emotional...I'll stop.)
Happy Vanguardween.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
A misplaced voicemail...
I received this message today, on our unused land line. The man sounded to be in his 30's, and sad.
Elizabeth, I hope this is you.
This it the other phone that I have..uh...that I think is you.
Um...Anyway, you should call me.
You keep telling Sherri that you're trying to call me and that I won't answer and you know that's not true so...um...you can keep calling' her all you want. She knows everything that I'm doin', and everything that we do is together. So maybe you should just do what you tell her you're doing and that's try to call me.
Why don't you text me and give me and email address so I can communicate somehow with you. Maybe I can send you an email with some explanations.
Anyway...... give me a call...bye.
Elizabeth, I hope this is you.
This it the other phone that I have..uh...that I think is you.
Um...Anyway, you should call me.
You keep telling Sherri that you're trying to call me and that I won't answer and you know that's not true so...um...you can keep calling' her all you want. She knows everything that I'm doin', and everything that we do is together. So maybe you should just do what you tell her you're doing and that's try to call me.
Why don't you text me and give me and email address so I can communicate somehow with you. Maybe I can send you an email with some explanations.
Anyway...... give me a call...bye.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Chat with me...
I'm just trying this out. You should be able to chat with me from this webpage.
Just start typing in here--------------------------------------------->
Did it work?
Just start typing in here--------------------------------------------->
Did it work?
Thursday, October 18, 2007
DCI Pumpkin Stencils....
I'm terrible at carving pumpkins. But I think I might try again after reading this. DCI.org released a bunch of pumpkin stencils depicting all the corps logos in conjunction with a pumpkin carving contest they're holding.
I love the new ways that DCI is getting word out. Now if they only bring their merchandise prices down so anyone could afford them!
This is the logo for the Santa Clara Vanguard; the corps that Cortnie marched with.
I love the new ways that DCI is getting word out. Now if they only bring their merchandise prices down so anyone could afford them!
This is the logo for the Santa Clara Vanguard; the corps that Cortnie marched with.
Saturday, October 06, 2007
Customer Service from yesteryear...
This is a shameless endorsement. It's also a bit long. If you don't want to read the whole thing, skip down to the summary.
Last Sunday I went outside to find my truck tire completely flattened. I've been battling a slow leak ever since a good friend and I replaced his roof shingles, using my truck as the garbage catcher and hauler (there are a LOT of nails in roof debris.) This is what trucks are for.
I took it to down to the Wal-Marts, which was the only tire-center open. I returned a few hours later to have them tell me that there was no leak. I assured then that there was, and that it was indeed flat this morning. They had no ideas, so I let them out by half-jokingly asking if the flat could have been caused by my moving the truck from Maryland to Utah. "Maybe the change in altitude caused the slow leak, and flat?" (Yeah, right) Being close to closing time, the two technicians readily agreed, and sent me on my way. Of course, the tire still leaked, aggravating slowly.
The next week I noticed that within walking distance from my work, there is a Les Schwab tire center. I pulled in Friday morning and immediately noticed the Discount Tire shop across the street. I turned around, and started to head over there. After all, it say "Discount" in the name. I then noticed that Discount Tire had completely full bays, and a parking lot with no empty spaces. Les Schwab on the other hand had nearly empty bays, and a half-full (or half empty?) parking lot. Wanting my tire done that day, I chose to stay at Schwab.
This is when the awesomeness began.
Eldon, a friendly technician came to my truck to greet me, and asked about my problem. I explained the tires history, and what I'd tried so far. I also offhandedly mentioned the spare tire in the back of my truck, which I recently purchased from a salvage shop, and which I thought was too large. Eldon assured me that my leaking tire was in good hands.
An hour later, he called me and told me to come over. Enter: Super Awesomeness. When I arrived, he explained that he was able to find the leak, no problem. He said that he replaced one repair, and that the tire was sound again. He also said he tried out my spare, and told me reasons why it was indeed too large, and printed me a list of tire/wheel sizes that would work better. For all of this he charged me nothing. He even spurned my Fiver tip. You just don't find customer service like this anymore.
He spent a few more minutes talking to me about possibly replacing my wheels (one of which is bent) with some better fitting, and cooler looking wheels. I was expecting the sales pitch, but it was different. It was clear that he was telling me about the wheels out of a love of wheels. He really didn't want me to spend money, but wanted my truck to look better. It was refreshing. No pressure.
Everyone should check out Eldon at Les Schwab in Lindon, UT. I can't say enough good about him. He's my new tire guy.
One a funny note, thinking of putting new tires on my dented up truck (see Home Depot entry from several weeks ago), I was reminded of This Video. "These are all me, son"Last Sunday I went outside to find my truck tire completely flattened. I've been battling a slow leak ever since a good friend and I replaced his roof shingles, using my truck as the garbage catcher and hauler (there are a LOT of nails in roof debris.) This is what trucks are for.
I took it to down to the Wal-Marts, which was the only tire-center open. I returned a few hours later to have them tell me that there was no leak. I assured then that there was, and that it was indeed flat this morning. They had no ideas, so I let them out by half-jokingly asking if the flat could have been caused by my moving the truck from Maryland to Utah. "Maybe the change in altitude caused the slow leak, and flat?" (Yeah, right) Being close to closing time, the two technicians readily agreed, and sent me on my way. Of course, the tire still leaked, aggravating slowly.
The next week I noticed that within walking distance from my work, there is a Les Schwab tire center. I pulled in Friday morning and immediately noticed the Discount Tire shop across the street. I turned around, and started to head over there. After all, it say "Discount" in the name. I then noticed that Discount Tire had completely full bays, and a parking lot with no empty spaces. Les Schwab on the other hand had nearly empty bays, and a half-full (or half empty?) parking lot. Wanting my tire done that day, I chose to stay at Schwab.
This is when the awesomeness began.
Eldon, a friendly technician came to my truck to greet me, and asked about my problem. I explained the tires history, and what I'd tried so far. I also offhandedly mentioned the spare tire in the back of my truck, which I recently purchased from a salvage shop, and which I thought was too large. Eldon assured me that my leaking tire was in good hands.
An hour later, he called me and told me to come over. Enter: Super Awesomeness. When I arrived, he explained that he was able to find the leak, no problem. He said that he replaced one repair, and that the tire was sound again. He also said he tried out my spare, and told me reasons why it was indeed too large, and printed me a list of tire/wheel sizes that would work better. For all of this he charged me nothing. He even spurned my Fiver tip. You just don't find customer service like this anymore.
He spent a few more minutes talking to me about possibly replacing my wheels (one of which is bent) with some better fitting, and cooler looking wheels. I was expecting the sales pitch, but it was different. It was clear that he was telling me about the wheels out of a love of wheels. He really didn't want me to spend money, but wanted my truck to look better. It was refreshing. No pressure.
Everyone should check out Eldon at Les Schwab in Lindon, UT. I can't say enough good about him. He's my new tire guy.
Summary: Tire punctured in the line of duty. Sunday Flat. Wal-Mart incompetence. Les-Schwab half-full. Eldon finds the hole, charges me $0. "It's Deluxe, Son"
Moral: Eldon Rocks.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
My Jax in the Mire...
This is funny. At least to me.
I was outside today in the garage, tooling around. My be-socked 7 year old hopped on his industrial-sized tricycle, and headed out. He never goes far, and we have a nice walking trail right next to our house that he likes to ride on.
After about 5 minutes, I realized that I couldn't hear him. Not too worried but wanting to make sure he didn't fall off and re-injure his mending bone, I hopped on my scooter and went looking. I didn't have to look far. Here are some shots. He thought I was going to be mad. I was proud. Note the pirate slippers at the end.
I was outside today in the garage, tooling around. My be-socked 7 year old hopped on his industrial-sized tricycle, and headed out. He never goes far, and we have a nice walking trail right next to our house that he likes to ride on.
After about 5 minutes, I realized that I couldn't hear him. Not too worried but wanting to make sure he didn't fall off and re-injure his mending bone, I hopped on my scooter and went looking. I didn't have to look far. Here are some shots. He thought I was going to be mad. I was proud. Note the pirate slippers at the end.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
"Drama at the Big Box" aka "That evening at Home Depot"
The Scene: Me shopping at Home Depot. Just after 5pm on a Monday.
The Players (In order of appearance):
Me
The P.A. Voice
Home Depot Girl
Blake
My black Mazda B2300 truck
The Two Youths: Tall Blonde and Short Darkie
Cart Guy
Mandy: My-ageish assistant manager
Fale: Confident and intimidating manager
Setup:
What follows is a true story. No names have been changed. I've condensed a few of the interactions for brevity.
Me: (wondering around store, gathering up items. Wishing I'd picked up a cart) Thinks "Is the 15 foot cat5 cable going to be long enough..."
The P.A. Voice: "ClickPssshhffft. Would the customer with Maryland plates please come to the customer service station? The customer with Maryland plates to the customer service station please. Clonk."
Me: (Walks to front of store) "I'm the Maryland Guy"
Home Depot Girl: "Hi, Your car was just hit in the parking lot."
Me: (Sarcastically) "Yesssss!"
Home Depot Girl: "This guy saw it." (points to Blake)
Blake: "Yeah, some kids in a white truck hit a cart going 20 or 30 mph, and it smacked into the back of your truck. It was intentional. Here is the plate number" (Hands me a slip of paper)
Me: (Outside at truck now) Thinks to himself: "Phew, the truck is not totaled. Oh look, it's just a little dent. I have tons of those already. Good, nothing to worry about. Oh, yep, there is the white truck. I wonder what I should say to the kids. We don't need any trouble. Hmmmm..."
Me: (Waits for kids to emerge from HD. Approaches the already on-guard kids, meeting them at their truck.) Says to Tall Blonde: "Hey man. Looks like you guys hit my truck with a cart, right?"
Blonde: "No. I didn't."
Me: "Are you sure about that? Do you want to take that back?"
Blonde: "No. Dude, I didn't hit any carts."
Me: "We saw you."
Blonde: "Oh, were you like sitting over there watching!?"
Me: "Yes."
Blonde: "...Ok, I did hit your truck."
Me: "So what's your plan? Were you going to tell me?"
Blonde: "It didn't even make a dent, it doesn't matter. Geez dude! (expletive)."
Me: "Well, you did make a dent. You damaged my truck, so what do you want to do about it?"
Blonde: "(expletive). Get off me man. You can't even see the dent, and your truck is beat up anyway. This is ridiculous.. You can't prove it anyway! It's your word against mine! (expletive)."
Me: "I think you're getting mad. I'm the one with the damaged truck. Why are you getting mad?"
Blonde: " (expletive). (expletive)(expletive). I'm outta here."
Me: "I think that maybe you should give me your insurance information."
Blonde: "I don't have insurance. (expletive)"
Me: "Shall I call the police then?"
Blonde: "(expletive). Go ahead (expletive)!" (Blonde and co-hort start to walk away, heading for store.)
Me: (Raising my voice as the youths retreat) "Hey man, if you'd have come clean at the start and apologized, we'd be done here. In fact, if you come back right now and stand in front of me and apologize, it'll be done. Come back, and it'll be over man." (Kids continue walking into store (assumed expletives).
Cart-guy: "I'm calling a manager"
Mandy: (Emerges looking nervous. She approaches me as the youthes re-emerge from the store, and stand next to their truck.) "Can I help you sir?"
Me: "Hi Mandy. My name is Matt. I'm not mad, but keep talking to me."
Mandy: "What a relief. So what happened."
Me: "Keep talking to me, and look worried and upset. I'm going to pretend to make a call on this phone. Those kids (Matt Relays story). Lets keep talking, and make them sweat. They won't leave because they don't have insurance, and think I'm going to call the cops. I just want them to learn a lesson."
Mandy: "Yes. Ok. I'll use my walkie talkie like we're getting the authorities. Lets keep talking."
Me: "Lets go inside, and let them stew for a while."
Me: "Okay, now lets watch from the window. Yes, they're still there. They're not going anywhere. Lets let them stand there for a while. "
Mandy: "What should we do? Lets get Fale, the manager. He can talk to them, adn shake them up a bit."
(Manager arrives, situation is conveyed, he agrees to let them worry for 10 more minutes, and then goes out to talk to them.)
Me: "Mandy, lets watch from the window. Look, they look mad. Yes, they're arguing and flailing arms. Fale is talking now. Now they look defeated. It's working."
(Kids leave, Fale comes back in)
Fale: "They were punks. But they agreed that they did hit your truck, and that they said some mean things to you, and that you were trying to be cool. They offered to come in and apologize. I told them they had better just leave"
Me: "Did they get the point?"
Fale: "Yep, they were scared stiff. They know you still have their license written down."
Me: "Great. Where do you keep the stain pens?"
Moral of the story
Don't lie and get insurance.
The Players (In order of appearance):
Me
The P.A. Voice
Home Depot Girl
Blake
My black Mazda B2300 truck
The Two Youths: Tall Blonde and Short Darkie
Cart Guy
Mandy: My-ageish assistant manager
Fale: Confident and intimidating manager
Setup:
What follows is a true story. No names have been changed. I've condensed a few of the interactions for brevity.
Me: (wondering around store, gathering up items. Wishing I'd picked up a cart) Thinks "Is the 15 foot cat5 cable going to be long enough..."
The P.A. Voice: "ClickPssshhffft. Would the customer with Maryland plates please come to the customer service station? The customer with Maryland plates to the customer service station please. Clonk."
Me: (Walks to front of store) "I'm the Maryland Guy"
Home Depot Girl: "Hi, Your car was just hit in the parking lot."
Me: (Sarcastically) "Yesssss!"
Home Depot Girl: "This guy saw it." (points to Blake)
Blake: "Yeah, some kids in a white truck hit a cart going 20 or 30 mph, and it smacked into the back of your truck. It was intentional. Here is the plate number" (Hands me a slip of paper)
Me: (Outside at truck now) Thinks to himself: "Phew, the truck is not totaled. Oh look, it's just a little dent. I have tons of those already. Good, nothing to worry about. Oh, yep, there is the white truck. I wonder what I should say to the kids. We don't need any trouble. Hmmmm..."
Me: (Waits for kids to emerge from HD. Approaches the already on-guard kids, meeting them at their truck.) Says to Tall Blonde: "Hey man. Looks like you guys hit my truck with a cart, right?"
Blonde: "No. I didn't."
Me: "Are you sure about that? Do you want to take that back?"
Blonde: "No. Dude, I didn't hit any carts."
Me: "We saw you."
Blonde: "Oh, were you like sitting over there watching!?"
Me: "Yes."
Blonde: "...Ok, I did hit your truck."
Me: "So what's your plan? Were you going to tell me?"
Blonde: "It didn't even make a dent, it doesn't matter. Geez dude! (expletive)."
Me: "Well, you did make a dent. You damaged my truck, so what do you want to do about it?"
Blonde: "(expletive). Get off me man. You can't even see the dent, and your truck is beat up anyway. This is ridiculous.
Me: "I think you're getting mad. I'm the one with the damaged truck. Why are you getting mad?"
Blonde: "
Me: "I think that maybe you should give me your insurance information."
Blonde: "I don't have insurance.
Me: "Shall I call the police then?"
Blonde: "
Me: (Raising my voice as the youths retreat) "Hey man, if you'd have come clean at the start and apologized, we'd be done here. In fact, if you come back right now and stand in front of me and apologize, it'll be done. Come back, and it'll be over man." (Kids continue walking into store (assumed expletives).
Cart-guy: "I'm calling a manager"
Mandy: (Emerges looking nervous. She approaches me as the youthes re-emerge from the store, and stand next to their truck.) "Can I help you sir?"
Me: "Hi Mandy. My name is Matt. I'm not mad, but keep talking to me."
Mandy: "What a relief. So what happened."
Me: "Keep talking to me, and look worried and upset. I'm going to pretend to make a call on this phone. Those kids (Matt Relays story). Lets keep talking, and make them sweat. They won't leave because they don't have insurance, and think I'm going to call the cops. I just want them to learn a lesson."
Mandy: "Yes. Ok. I'll use my walkie talkie like we're getting the authorities. Lets keep talking."
Me: "Lets go inside, and let them stew for a while."
Me: "Okay, now lets watch from the window. Yes, they're still there. They're not going anywhere. Lets let them stand there for a while. "
Mandy: "What should we do? Lets get Fale, the manager. He can talk to them, adn shake them up a bit."
(Manager arrives, situation is conveyed, he agrees to let them worry for 10 more minutes, and then goes out to talk to them.)
Me: "Mandy, lets watch from the window. Look, they look mad. Yes, they're arguing and flailing arms. Fale is talking now. Now they look defeated. It's working."
(Kids leave, Fale comes back in)
Fale: "They were punks. But they agreed that they did hit your truck, and that they said some mean things to you, and that you were trying to be cool. They offered to come in and apologize. I told them they had better just leave"
Me: "Did they get the point?"
Fale: "Yep, they were scared stiff. They know you still have their license written down."
Me: "Great. Where do you keep the stain pens?"
Moral of the story
Don't lie and get insurance.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
New post coming, I promise...
I have one brewing up in my head right now.
Within 2 days, it'll be here.
Don't worry, I haven't given up on the internets.
Within 2 days, it'll be here.
Don't worry, I haven't given up on the internets.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
On a jet plane..
Just a quick update, and some housekeeping. It's true what Emily mentioned in a recent post We're leaving MD. Maybe I can get together a photojourography about our fun 15 months here.
But in the mean time, I have some bad news. The packers/movers are coming tomorrow which means the server is getting boxed up. Everyones sites that are hosted here will be down for a few week, I believe. Our new place isn't ready until the middle of Sept. Sorry for the troubles.
Until then.
But in the mean time, I have some bad news. The packers/movers are coming tomorrow which means the server is getting boxed up. Everyones sites that are hosted here will be down for a few week, I believe. Our new place isn't ready until the middle of Sept. Sorry for the troubles.
Until then.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
The Blue Couch...
It seems mom has had a clue couch for as long as I can remember. While we were in Utah, the replaced the blue basement sectional with a new one. The old one needed to go from the basement to the attic. It was left to Jonny, Dad and Me to move it up there.
Here is a picture from the adventure. Once we got it lined up with the attic door, It juuuuust fit. It went through like jello coming through a mold, and made about the same sounds. "FFffffffffffump"
Here is a shot of it JUST as it went through. Look at the top left. That's Jonny's hand poking out. I'm still amazed that it fit.
It was funny...but maybe you had to be there? Jonny, Dad, was it funny?
Here is a picture from the adventure. Once we got it lined up with the attic door, It juuuuust fit. It went through like jello coming through a mold, and made about the same sounds. "FFffffffffffump"
Here is a shot of it JUST as it went through. Look at the top left. That's Jonny's hand poking out. I'm still amazed that it fit.
It was funny...but maybe you had to be there? Jonny, Dad, was it funny?
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Pictures of a trip home....?
There is something to be said for going home. I consider home to be where I'm most comfortable. Home right now is Annapolis, MD, where I live with my wife and son. But it feels like a temporary home. That is, I know I won't live here until I'm old. I could see myself living is Kansas until I'm old. Is that home? When I flew into Salt Lake City, it felt like home there too. How confusing! I guess in the end, home is where I am with my family. A hotel room, a rented house in Annapolis, a borrowed on in American Fork. Wherever they are, that's where I'd like to be.
We recently took a trip to our Childhood home of Utah Valley, UT (among other places.) In no particular order, here are some photos of us at home.
We went to NYC the weekend before the SLC trip. This is Jackson with the "Guard" at the FOA Schwarz. He has some lego dudes in that red bag.
Another one fro NYC. Jackson and Cortnie on the subway escalator.
Another from NYC. Jackson with Lego Potter gang.
Trav, kicking it in classic style. We love you Travie. Jackson was very upset to learn that you're not actually a member of our family. We told him that you are anyway.
Another NYC show. Us, waiting for the bus into the city. How brave of us.
The Mount Temp. Temple at night.
This little one is precious. She's the youngest peck, and likes to sing nearly everything she says. Alison, in my moms "Cool Pool" (the hot tub, without the hot).
So there you go. Pictures of home? You decide.
We recently took a trip to our Childhood home of Utah Valley, UT (among other places.) In no particular order, here are some photos of us at home.
We went to NYC the weekend before the SLC trip. This is Jackson with the "Guard" at the FOA Schwarz. He has some lego dudes in that red bag.
Another one fro NYC. Jackson and Cortnie on the subway escalator.
Another from NYC. Jackson with Lego Potter gang.
Trav, kicking it in classic style. We love you Travie. Jackson was very upset to learn that you're not actually a member of our family. We told him that you are anyway.
Another NYC show. Us, waiting for the bus into the city. How brave of us.
The Mount Temp. Temple at night.
Introucing Julia, the most recent addition to our extended family. She belongs to Melody and Jonny, and is wicked cool. Check out her style. Seen here with her Grandma Jan.
Jackson, firing his first "Real" gun. We shot silver BB's into boxes and water bottles. He's a great shot!
Not a great picture, but it's jacks first time gathering up candy at a parade. See that orange hat? He completely filled it.
My sister Elise, right after causing me a serious defeat. My knees are still recovering from this game.
A highlight of our trip. Elise and her good friend Nicole were actors in a Harry Potter 7 book release party at BYU Bookstore. It was very well done, and fun.
This wreck happened directly in front of us. The Van and the little blue car were innocent bystanders. A jeep his this Suburban, which came flying into (and onto) this cars. It was intense. Jackson covered it in "The Safety Crash".
This little one is precious. She's the youngest peck, and likes to sing nearly everything she says. Alison, in my moms "Cool Pool" (the hot tub, without the hot).
While I was here, our long time neighbor and friend Maurice Peterson died shortly after having a heart attack. He owns the lot next to us (and used to ALL the lots in the neighborhood.) A great person that everyone was sad to lose. I was here last Fall, and went to see him. My friend Josh snapped this photo. I suspect it maybe the last taken of him.
So there you go. Pictures of home? You decide.
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