Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Area man posts "Next Hundred Things..."

An area man has posted his "Next Hundred things" much to the dismay of his 2-3 regular readers. Says one reader about this bombardment of unwanted personal information: "It's uhhh...well It's just not that interesting." Our repeated phone calls to the mans office were not returned.

  1. I enjoy a Cold 44oz soda most than most things. Lots of ice. Usually Diet Mtn. Dew (DMD) with a few shots of cherry flavor. (Fake Diet Code Red (DCR).) I can nurse one of those for a day or two if I try. I like to add limes as well.
  2. One of my favorite things to do is try on gloves. I'm always searching for the perfect fit. I recently found a perfect fit in some shooting gloves at Cabellas.
  3. There is a mod chip in my OG Xbox.
  4. I listen to NPR. My favorite shows are Car Talk and This American Life. An epidode of This American Life made me cry last week. (This episode. You can listen free from their website.)
  5. I know a bunch of Yo Yo tricks which I do with my left hand. I learned them all from John Neilson. Jackson is learning them.
  6. I also shoot with my left hand.
  7. I also eat with my left hand. I'm partly sinister.
  8. My nickname in High School was "Simon." (I liked to do drawrings)
  9. I like going to General Conference at the Conference Center.
  10. We wax our cars at least 4 times per year. And I'm not talking about the spray on jobbie at the car wash. I'm talking Clean, Polish, Wax. Even my scratched up truck gets the treatment.
  11. I enjoy Peanut Butter.
  12. I saw Rod Stewart at the Super Fresh one night.
  13. I'm terrible at Scrabble, but I love to play. I also love Monopoly.
  14. My hair is currently in the "Ugly Phase." Soon it will be in the "Uglier" phase.
  15. I wear nose strips when I sleep, to cut down on the snoring. Sometimes it hurts to remove them. Other times, I can't find them in the morning.
  16. To be funny, I like using the word "Ones" to describe thing. Any old things.
  17. I hate my current cell phone, but am too thrifty to buy a new one. I'll wait until I'm eligible for a "free" one.
  18. I support my sons Hot Wheels habit. Sometimes I play with them too, even when my son is not around.
  19. I take action photos on the side to make extra money. It's part of my 10 year plan.
  20. At this moment, I am installing X11 on my laptop, so I can run some useful Open Source apps.
  21. I love any song that features a robot voice.
  22. I had lobster for lunch this week. How fancy!
  23. I play a video game via email with friends (much like playing Chess by mail.) It takes about 3 minutes a day to play, and a game lasts about a year.
  24. According to this site: http://www.vajoe.com/candidate_calculator.html I am supposed to vote for Businessman John Cox for president. ?!
  25. I tend not to react to most things very quickly. I'm not good at on-the-spot decisions and usually regret actions, decisions and comments made in haste.
  26. I love Cortnie, and wouldn't trade the last 10 years for anything.
  27. Jackson is my ultimate #1 dude. Totally complete.
  28. Some things that make laugh uncontrollably make my wife roll her eyes and sometimes leave the room. Example: The Three Stooges.
  29. I secretly enjoy the movie A Walk to Remember staring Mandy Moore and Shane West.
  30. I carry a man-bag. It was the best move I ever made. I'm never going back. It's difficult to find a bag that fits my style. So far, I've only found 1.
  31. I was wondering if you'd like to meet me in my quarters this night...for some toast.
  32. Every morning, I have a craving to watch music videos. I'm not sure where that came from.
  33. I would move back to Kansas.
  34. A policeman un-holstered and aimed a gun at me once.
  35. I think the name Valentine would be excellent for a girl. After years and years, my wife still thinks I'm joking.
  36. I enjoy sunflower seeds.
  37. I don't like those little particles that float around in the air. When I drive into the sun, they're easy to see and make me feel like I'm choking by breathing them in. I open my window a crack, and watch them gravitate outside. I feel so much better once they're gone.
  38. I have a friend that I am in "Cahoots" with. We are often thinking the same things, doing the same things, saying the same things, and listening to the same music at the same time. It's a common enough occurrence that it doesn't surprise us anymore. It used to make our friends in college so mad.
  39. My wife always knows the gender of a close friend or family members baby a few months before they announce their pregnancy. She has been 100% accurate over the past 10 years.
  40. People making up parking spots is my worst annoyance. I think Mormons are the main offenders. (There are ALWAYS spots in the back guys...you don't need to park in the driveway of the church.)
  41. I don't like it when people hide from Cameras. Once I shot an Indian wedding for a friend. After every picture I took, the subjects of the photo each thanked me for taking their picture. It was a refreshing change. Kids are also great at getting their photo snapped. Ethan Turpin is extremely photogenic, and comfortable in front of a camera.
  42. I sleep walk 4-5 times per week. Lately, I've even been going outside. I usually wake up just enough to know I need to get back in bed in such a way that Cortnie thinks I'm still asleep, but it's all still part of the dream/sleep-walk shenanigan.
  43. I want laser eye surgery, but my eyes are too bad for it. For the past 19 years I've been keeping up with the progress. The advanced badness of my eyes is still no match for technology.
  44. I secretly want to be a reporter.
  45. I've had a double hernia surgery. Hard times.
  46. Ever since I lived in Kansas, I enjoy country music, but not if it's sung by a man (Mantry). In fact, even some of the women country singers are too much for me. Kelly Willis is my favorite. Hearing her music feels like going home to me.
  47. I tried on some short socks a few years ago, and haven't looked back. I tossed my long socks, and am always on the prowl for short, thin sicks. The shorter the better. I have short socks for church.
  48. I am a huge fan of my Old Man.
  49. To an un-expressible extreme, I dislike shopping at Wal-Mart. I'd rather pay higher prices elsewhere.
  50. My son and I do doughnuts in the truck when it snows. Somehow, my wife allows this.
  51. When our kid was colicky, we used to turn on the vacuum which calmed him immediately. I quickly made a cd of continuous Hoover-vacuum sound which we played for him for weeks and weeks. It always did the trick.
  52. When my internet connection is down, I am nervous and uncomfortable. It's no way to live.
  53. I do not handle stress well.
  54. I prefer to give prepared talks in Church. I like to read them from the pulpit, and my talks never start with jokes and anecdotes about my talk preparation or "When the Bishop called me and asked..." of "I was asked to speak on...."
  55. I have been on 3 cruises. 2 of which I actually enjoyed.
  56. Taking so many physics classes in college has ruined me a little bit. Knowing that everything is connected threatens to make me crazy. A teacher once explained that to the smallest, most unmeasurable and infinitesimal amount, every time I take a step it causes the position of the earth to change. Same with moving around in a room. Every molecule of air is affected by every move of my muscle however small. This makes me nervous.
  57. My son calls me "dude" sometimes. It makes me proud.
  58. We have a nice big HD TV which is hooked up rabbit ears. We kinda get channels 11, 13 and sometimes 7.
  59. I have had a lot of Churchy opportunities lately...outside the orphanage.
  60. When I'm stressed out, I tend to spend money. It's a protest of sorts.
  61. I have a bad memory. But I have some extremely vivid memories of my childhood. In fact, I think I have more vivid childhood memories, than I have vivid memories of last week.
  62. It used to really bother me when my possessions were scratched or dinged. Watches, cell phones, cars etc. I remember the exact point when I gave that up, and decided to accept it. Now when it happens, it's a bit of a relief. I actually like my things better with a few battle-wounds.
  63. I refuse to buy books with movie-covers. "Now a Major Motion Picture." Pa-lease.
  64. I secretly want Luke Skywalkers hair.
  65. I am pretty sure that 1/3 of these are duplicates of my last 100 things.
  66. I am fairly certain that this will be my last 100 things...this is painful. I don't like talking about myself.
  67. I have a hard time shaking a grumpy attitude.
  68. I enjoy reading and listening to Naval Fiction novels. Especially when they contain CVBG's and/or Submarines.
  69. I use the online service plaxo.com as my address book. It's extremely convenient.
  70. When I as kid, I lost 3 or 4 pairs of glasses to our dog chewing them to death.
  71. Watching the news drives me crazy, and I rarely do it. I feel like they're trying to "sell" me the news. I can't stand being sold on things by strangers.
  72. I enjoy using linux, and will be happy to get anyone started on it. However, I'm no zealot. I think OS X is fantastic, and Windows is..well...still windows.
  73. It is possible that I am the only person in the state of Utah that understands how to use the HOV lane. I know I know, there are so many rules...how can we expect people to get it?!
  74. I love using the tie-down straps that I keep in my truck. Every time I do, it adds mental value to my truck. Currently it's worth hundreds of thousands of dollars, and is not for sale (so don't ask!)
  75. I miss living close to Emily, KC, Camille, Jake, Ethan and Jefferson.
  76. I never learned the months in school. I think I was absent that day, or something. I still have trouble keeping track of what comes next, and which have 30 days etc. Part of me is still a 7 year old.
  77. I look for humor in almost everything.
  78. Amber absolutely cracks me up with 99% of the things she says.
  79. Todd absolutely cracks me up with 100% of the things he says.
  80. I love draw string bags.
  81. I once tried to save some fish that had bleach poured in their tank.....it was too late.
  82. I hate saxaphone music.
  83. I want a motorcycle really bad, but I'll never buy one.
  84. I am not very good at music lyrics...I think they say something completely different then what they say.
  85. My wife says I am addicted to computers.....I have one in my hands at all times.
  86. I love caseroles
  87. I love blistex and gold bond.
  88. I want cereal for every meal.
  89. I can tinker on the harmonica, guitar, piano, trupet, drums, and eukelele. I can't play any of them.
  90. I am afraid of graveyards.
  91. I do not like to be tickled or scared.
  92. I love the term "cold one"
  93. Once, the main giant doors of the SLC temple were opened for me so I could go in.
  94. I cried a little when I sold my Maxima.
  95. I have never fired a pistol.
  96. The end of the Lemony Snicket books was a disappointment to me. I'm still a little mad about it.
  97. I participated in a parade in Salem MA, thought of as the home of the Salem Which Trials.
  98. I once won a major award. Statistically, it'll never happen to me again.
  99. I'm totally excited for my sister Elise. Complete.
  100. My sister thinks I got away with everything during high school.
  101. There are only 2% odds that anyone will live to 100 years of age.
  102. I have seen and touched the worlds largest sneaker, cross and ear of corn during the same week.
Sources close to the man say he's happy to be done with the next hundred, and hopes to avoid even counting past 84 again as long as he lives.

9 comments:

Cami said...

If you want to avoid counting, you must stay away from Ethan. Speaking of Ethan, I'm not sure he knows your camera is actually a camera. He always runs away from me! But usually what I get us cute I suppose.

Some of these are not about you, but still made me laugh. I am tempted to meet your in your quarters for some toast. Light tan is my favorite color.

We miss you too! Our kids keep asking when you guys are coming over. I think we'd all better make the trip for Lili's wedding. We'll have to see how that goes.

Cami said...

Oh yeah, and what is Cortnie's prediction for me?

Lili and Jeff said...

Mattie, I like your hair! It is cool long. Also, Valentine? Ha ha! I had never thought of it! I will pose for any pictures that you take, at any time.

...Anna no, Anna no. Make me fries.

Corinne said...

I'm sorry, after I read that you saw Rod Stewart in real life, I had a very hard time concentrating on the rest of your list.

Amber said...

You are the funniest. I laughed out loud about several of those. Todd can help you out with #95. He packs heat! Maybe in the summer we can go camping and shoot stuff. Bring your BB gun!

Janice Graham said...

Keep 'em coming! I love to find out more about my very own SON, stuff I didn't know. Can we ever know everything about anyone?

Standard of Liberty said...

love the things . . . you're a great and informational guy. love ya.

Unknown said...

love the things . . . you're a great and informational guy. love ya.

melody said...

Thanks for posting more things! I am with you on the tickling one. Jonny says it's all in your head but I disagree - I can't handle it!