Mad Scientist says that Sun is Enemy...

Global warming...err I mean Global Climate Change (didn't we used to call that "Seasons" in the olden days? Funny how innocent we were back then) feels to me like the new version of the 1938 Orson Wells radio broadcast of War of the Worlds. Only this time, it's slowed waydown and it's less entertaining.

Until today! This article took my speechlessness to a new level. I wouldn't have anything to say to someone like this. Well, I might be able to come up with a few clarification questions...just so I'm getting it right. (Article from the Utah Daily Herald, 4/4/09, section A2)

Below is the article, and a few of my favorite clips, along with my follow up questions/comments.












Me: "Ok so...Um... So you want to... Sorry, I'm usually not like this. It just sounds silly to say but you want to... block...the sun?

Wait... that does make good sense. I mean..it's hot in the sun sometimes! And it's not-as-hot in the shade. Like at a picnic! So if the whole planet was in the shade....yeah...I see where you're going with this. Pass the watermelon"



Holdren followed this statement with "...But think how awesome the launch would be! Dude. "












Me: "No Duh... Everyone knows this no-brainer. Basically, if nothing works, we'll just use geoengineering and create a new earth."

Editors Note: If your spell check doesn't know a word like "geoengineering" it means that either 1) it's not a real thing, or 2) only God can do it.



Me: "Yes... No I just wanted to say... I am not a Noble laureate, and I hate to downplay your fake plastic trees idea because it's awesome...it really is! But don't actual trees already do this?

Oh wait I understand now... these geoengineered trees would be the same as real trees, except they woudln't release Oxygen! Brilliant...Stunningly Brilliant. I'm glad you're our top science guy."

Editors note: "Geoengineered" passes the spell check, but not "geoengineering." So I think you can have BEEN a geoengineer, but you cannot BE one. Again... Only for God.




This scene from the reality show "The Simpsons" proves to us that we humans, an amazement of evolution to being with, are yet capable of rediculously awesome earth-saving measures. THIS is the new red button, and is something that Mr Holdren reportedly refers to as "[his] precious."

I think Mr. Holdren and I would agree on one thing. The time has come to panic.

Cinnamon Rolls

Just thought I'd post this recipe since it seems to be popular. I've probably made these 50 times. (It's really all I can make, so I use them for all parties etc.)

Tips:

Don't overdo the brown sugar: I sometimes have a tendency to overdo it with the brown sugar. Get it on there nice and thin so it sweetens the rolls, but does not overpower them. Think orange rolls, rather than stickybuns.

Use the good cinnamon: The kind that Costco currently sells. Not the cheap kind from Nortons. It makes a huge difference, especially when you don't overpower the cinnamon with the brown sugar.

Let em raise: I sometimes double the raising time, especially in the winter when it's usually colder in the house. Let it double in size the first time (in the bowl). The second time (in the pans), give them an hour to raise, and then proofbox them for another 20. It's the bast.

Roll em thick: Don't over roll. Too thin makes for rolls that don't raise quite right. I like my rolled out dought to be about 1/4" thick.

Don't over flour: Flower is the enemy. I don't know how much I actually use, but it's got to be at least a cup less than they say. Add flour until the dough is baaaarrrely unsticky enough to handle. If it's still pretty sticky when you take it out of the mixing bowl, add a bit on your hands so you can kneed it a bit. The stickier, the better.

Thanks to Emily for all of these accumulated tips. I've probably called her 10 times over the years in the middle of this recipe. Girl knows what she's talkin' about.

Also, my wife once bought me some Springform pans, which are excellent for these. Time after time I forgot to use them when making these rolls. Hence the note on the bottom of the recipe.

Enjoy.

More Police Beatnicks...

Ok, so maybe they publish these reports as a lark. I almost dismissed them because of this. But no... These are real people (or, as real as you can get at BYU.) And yes...that IS how it was when you were there. Don't even try it.

Again, adding my take on them.

Roommate 2: "...no way. You're over thinking it. Irregardless of what you saw, it's none of your business."
Roommate 1: "I swear it! I just know he buried his wife out there. I have not seen her at FHE for weeks. And why else would that little dog be sniffing around like that?!"
Roommate 2: "Yeah...you're like, spending too much time with that huge zoom lens. I can't wait until you're out of that body cast."



These 4 dudes collectively: " But....I thought the honor code protected us against stuff like this."



Lady: "My first time out of Fillmore, and look what happens!!"
(Actually, this is a really sad way to learn that people are just no darn good.)


911-calling student upon reading: "Ahhh man! I said gentiles, not juveniles."


Riiiiiiight. You still have pay the ticket, honey.

Best Firefox Add-on now for Safari and IE...

Finally! My favorite browser plugin is even more useful.

Foxmarks (foxmarks.com, soon to be xmarks) is a free service that keeps your web booksmarks (and site-passwords, if you wish) on their server and synchronizes them between computers. Previously available only as a Firefox plug-in, it's now available for install on IE and Safari Browsers (and I hope on Chrome when they allow plugins later this year). Add a book mark in one browser, and it's instantly available on all your browsers and computer.

It's free, and they don't accept donations. They're working on some paid features for future releases, but even if it never does anything but sync my bookmarks, it will still be #1 on my list.

Get it.

Stop The Presses...

I grabbed a copy of The Daily Universe at BYU last week, and have been chuckling about these newsworthy items from the Police Beat section ever since. I'll try and recreate the conversations that go along with these timeless and horrific crimes.



Roommate 1: "Dude! Where is my scooter?! I flipping parked it right there!"
Roommate 2: "Oh ya...I had to move it over by the bike rack. It was blocking my Civic. Sorry."
Roommate 1: "Word...word."


Kyle: "Yo Cheylyn. Want to walk to the library and/or Wilky with me?"
Cheylyn: "No way Kyle. I told you...stop talking to me. I'm engaged."
Kyle: "Ya? Engaged just means Not-Too-Late-For-Me. I have your pencil, and I'm keeping it. Neener Neener Neener..."
Cheylyn, roling eyes: <911>



I have no response to this.


Lady: "Sure! I love Facebook Magazine. I'll subscribe. Let me write you a check."
Lady, after using google: "Whaaaat? Checks are MONEY!? Ack! <911>"


Bookstore dude: "Hey! What do you think you're doing?"
Student: "I'm checking out this textbook. Did you know they want $420 for this paperback?"
Bookstore dude: "Section 27a stroke f paragraph 7.12 clearly states that students may NOT view books before buying them"
Student: "It's really more of a pamphlet...and I was just..."
Bookstore dude: "INSOLENCE! I'll get to the bottom of this. "
Student: "Yes...well...wow. Later."


Grounds guy: "Are you guys building a tight-rope?"
BYU Kids: "Yes."
Grounds guy: "Will you not?"
BUY Kids: "Sure."



Here is the whole thing, in case you're interested. On a sadder yet redeeming note, the last item actually reports a burglary crime with victims. However, it awesomely contains the words "he started throwing stuff." Rounds things out nicely.

Roofington: A retrospective

Sept 1, 2007. My last week in Maryland. Kevin needed a new roof. I was conveniently "not working."

It took us a few days to get the old roof off... Dean, Kevin and Matt helped but the Mazda b2300 was the real hero. Shingles are heavy, and we tossed them right down into the truck.

Man Work

Only a few sheets of plywood needed replacing. Lucky.

New Shingles ready to be laddered up. Again...heavy.

This county dump in Maryland is an ironically pretty place.

It provides a rare vantage.

Tweaked Backs: 2

Bottles of Gatoraid: 6.
Chipotle Burritos: 2

Flat Tires from roofing nails: 2

Im in ur yard...catchin' ur shingals.

Nearly done with the front.

Complete!

Kevin put on the finishing touches. Well done.

I've been promising this post (in all it's glory) for years. Mission accomplished.

It maybe time for the web log to retire. How could anything top this?

Farewell to PG Review and others...

I caved when the 16-year-old newspaper kid at my door admitted he would spend the money he earned on girls, and not on college textbooks as he initially told me. So I've been receiving the Sunday Daily Herald for the past year. I like it, and read it at work. I also get the Lehi Free Press in the mail once a week, having moved from Lehi last year.

I was a little bummed to read that the Herald will discontinue the Lehi Free Press, American Fork Citizen, Pleasant Grove Review, Lone Peak Press and Orem Times after the Feb. 19th issue. I have a lot of memories attached with the PG Review from when mom wrote several columns for that paper.

The Daily Herald has several more local papers like this that they don't mention. I have a few photos published in the South Utah County paper every year and I'm hoping they continue that one at least.

So, sad day...but what can you do. Some day we'll have to explain things like "newspaper" to our kids, much like I do with my son with "film." It can't ALL go away though... what would we clean our windows with?

That Makes People...

My comment made woots homepage today. Things are going to start happening to me now.

Enlarged version

Thanks to Emily for noticing.

This space intentionally left blank.

Finally, a good cell phone..

I've been with my cell phone provider for over 10 years. I don't know how many phones I've had in that time. Probably 10 or 12. And I've never had one that I actually liked until now.

A few months ago, my cell phone started breaking. I fixed it with my sisters broken phone, but it didn't last long. Got another one from my provider but I couldn't hear anyone. Got yet another one from my provider, but everyone complained about only hearing me breathe. Finally went in to the wireless store and upgraded to a non-free phone. With the contract extension it was about $50. Worth every cent.

This is the best phone I've used. Here are the features I like:

• I can hear clearly.
  
• People can hear me clearly.
• It's very slim, and tiny.
• I can get my email on this phone without paying extra for a data plan. Sending or Reading an email costs me 1 text message.
  
• The music player very usable, and the headphone jack is a standard 3.5mm stereo connection!
  
• It accepts a micro-SD card, and actually came with a 1gb card.
  
• The headset includes a mic that plugs into the the headphone jack, and regular headphones. That means you can use any headphones you want to talk on the phone, and that you can hear your conversation in both ears. Very cool.
• The FM Radio is also very user friendly, and reception is good.
• Bluetooth works great. Connects with my palm, laptop, and headphones no problem. I can run with this in my pocket, and my headphones on. No cords.
• It runs java programs easy peasy. I can copy game .jar files on the SD card and they play great.
  

I should add that it also takes pretty good photos, up to 1600x1200, and even movies with sound. But in 10 years, I think I've taken about 10 photos with my phone. I just don't use it.

Anyways... next time you're ready for an upgrade, check out the Nokia 5310 XpressMusic. It's wicked.

Don't buy stuff...

TFR

Took this in American Fork Canyon tonight. Jack and I took our tripod up there and played around with our cameras.

Published...kinda...

One of these days one of my photos will be in a book or magazine, and I'll be excited.  But for now, this is pretty exciting for me.

http://205.118.116.97/phpApps/articleViewer.php?artdid=456?pdid=1250

Just a website...Alpine School Districts.  I work for Jolesch photo, and sometimes book events locally that I can't handle myself.  They send me, I take the pics and sometimes collect order forms etc, and then we split the commissions.  Makes for some fun travelling sometimes. 

Anyway, the photo on that page is one of those.  Taken at Gardner hall at the UofU.  I'm standing on a step ladder. :)

Props to Trav for loaning me his wicked and wide lens for this.  

Traffic...

Beep beep.

Beep beep.

Ya.

Best Town Ever...

There are a number of things right or wrong with this sign... you decide which.


Blackwater, Missouri. Home of the Mid-Missouri Museum of Independent Telephone Pioneers

Map
Town Info

I would totally visit this town again.

PIC: Jack and Friends...

I like to try and think what Jack was thinking here. The more I look at this pic, the more there is to it. April 2003.

PIC: Holy City

Taken on our trip to Jerusalem last Sunday.

PIC: JRel...

Add your favorite caption...

PIC: Free beads and patches...

I know that the scouts get all the fancy glasses... fine clothes, free beads and patches. But my life is good...really good.

PIC: Huuunnnggggg...