Saturday, March 20, 2010

Trade Up - Vol. 1

My Friend Quinn used to publish a really neat online magazine called The Whiteshoe Irregular.  It's still there in all it's archived glory.  (Properly archived...not just abandoned.)  One of his contributors used to write an excellent piece called Lofty and Low which I loved.  I miss it on a weekly basis, and often hear things and think "Man that would make a good Low, or a good Lofty. 

As an homage and for fill the void left by missing Lofties and Lows in my life, I present "Trade Up."   These are opposites that I would gladly trade.  It's up to the reader to decide if the former or latter options are preferred.  I suspect my cynicism will give away most of my preferences. 


 Trade Up - Vol. 1



Winter
for
Spring



Buying new stuff
for
(When appropriate) Using it up, Wearing it out, Making it do or Doing without



Parking that white mini van in the drop-off lane at the elementary school every morning.
for
Parking that white mini van anywhere else and walking 12 feet.



f/5.6
for
f/2.8



Websites that ask what country you're in
for
Websites that don't



Bob Bennett
for
(insert any name here)



Believing that KSL, Deseret Book or BYU represent the LDS Church and the Gospel it teaches
for
Reality



Realtors who do not know what they are doing
for
Matt Flinders and Drew Armstrong



Facebook
for
Faces and Books



"Synergy", "Opportunity", "Traction",  or "Poised to Execute"
for
Actual work



Trees
for
Forest



Food poisoning
for
Feeling better than expected




A free lunch
for
The sweat of my brow

7 comments:

Unknown said...

Hey, That is good stuff. Got me thinking. I like your ups.

Janice Graham said...

Matt, these are great. Yes, you said it! Love the face and books. Very thoughtful and insightful. LOve, Mom

Lili and Jeff said...

I will comment! I like the facebook one too. Except I would do trade facebook for Reality, or facebook for not knowing every detail about everyone's life.

also

a billion pennies
for
Penny

a PT Cruiser
for
My Cop Car, Sgt. Charlie

4:40 this morning
for
8:30 last night

The new Spongebob episodes
for
the old Spongebob episodes

The extra 14 pounds from my pregnancy
for
my 115 pound body of spring 2008

snow
for
any other weather

photoshop
for
illustrator (if I had to...)

People who haven't seen Clifford
for
people who have

Not hitting the students who cross the street and make me stop at every intersection
for
it being legal to hit students who cross the street at every intersection

Ok, I am getting carried away. Thanks for the post Matt, that was fun! You should do a "would you rather" and come up with things like "Would you rather have your head the size of a watermelon, or the size of a grapefruit?" or "would you rather have boogers that are ice cream or earwax that is cotton candy?"

Cami said...

I quite liked Facebook for faces and books. Very cool. But I disagree about the white minivan. I don't actually want to get out. Ever. Do you know about the wind by my school? And my baby girl? Yes, much too much work. We'll spare the 12 feet of walking and just park in the drop-off lane, thanks. :)

PLEASE let's get to the Winter for Spring SOON, eh??

Matt said...

Cami: The format of the Trades makes it hard to elaborate. If your white van is parked in the drop-off lane when no one else is trying to use it for it's intended purpose, by all means! But as is the case with our infamous mini-van, there are 50 cars also trying to drop off their kids at the same time as it is conspicuously parked two car lengths into to lane. The result is 48 cars down the street, some trying to get around etc. Also, by "Parked" I mean that the car off with no occupants for the full drop-off time. About 20 minutes. Here is an illustration: http://themdg.org/pics/posts/whitevan.jpg

Drew said...

I love the facebook part. As for me, I would trade:

Being single
for
Being married

And:

Lame TV
for
LOST and The Office and Battlestar Galactica.

Unknown said...

Matt! That is horrible. I see, your illustration has made it all clear. I suggest Jack's dart guns.