Mattie Are You Out There?

Well it has been several weeks since I have posted but I feel I must since Mattie is lost in space. Actually he is in Utah but it might as well be space since he is devoid of all access to the Internet. In fact while he was gone the Internet was replaced by Al "Lockbox" Gore with a brand new one that is funded entirely by selling carbon credits that were acquired on eBay from the Chinese. Apparently though these credits are fakes and have been shown to cause cancer in lab rats by the state of California (i think it was due to a ridiculously high level of CO2). While Mattie was gone I spoke to him once and he was playing golf. I have no idea what else he has been doing but as I find out so will you. Till then, I say good day.