Our country is just over two centuries old. That's pretty young compred to other countries in the world. Will our country make it to twice this age? Three time? Thirty times?
It's easy to think that...Yes...our country, even with it's problems, is doing pretty well. That's until you watch a few hours of Television. Watch one hour of anything marketed as "Reality Television" and you'll see what I mean. We're being fed a constant stream of mind-numbing trash! You can pick any "real" television show and watch it for an hour. You have just shortened your life by 14 hours. In my research, I found a story of a boy who watched SO much reality-television that he suddenly died of intelligence deficiency. Very sad.
What do you avoid, you ask? How can you reclaim you brain cells, you wonder? Here is a small list of criteria that you should avoid at ALL costs. A phrase which here means that when any of these scenarios comes on the television, you should act as if fire, spears, terrorists and strangers offering candy are pouring out of your television, into you living room.
1) Anything that involves any type of "Elimination." It's the show that should be eliminated, not the printer and fax machine repair man from Detroit.
2) Anything staring anyone that is famous for something other than starting in TV shows. This includes singers, rappers, artists, ex-convicts, business men, strippers, models, people who are famous for nothing, people who are not famous, people who murder other people, people who dare to eat rediculous things, or athletes.
3) Anything where people cry for "real."
4) Any show where there is a panel of judges.
5) Anything that will help choose Americas Next _anything_.
Also, I suggest making a list of people that you simply will not tolerate seeing in your home, or in your life. Act as if these peoples image causes you pain and burns your eyes. Because guess what? They do! When these people come on the television, RUN! For your life! Grab the remove and change it. Cover your ears and eyes and do that "La la la la" thing so you can't hear. Run from the room while screaming at the top of your lungs. If you don't, your brain will eventually explode.
I'm not going to list any actual names because that's JUST what they want. In fact, if I had listed names, and you had read them in this context, you'd be dumber than when you started. I just saved you 12.3 minutes of your life. You're welcome.
