Trade Up - Vol. 1

My Friend Quinn used to publish a really neat online magazine called The Whiteshoe Irregular.  It's still there in all it's archived glory.  (Properly archived...not just abandoned.)  One of his contributors used to write an excellent piece called Lofty and Low which I loved.  I miss it on a weekly basis, and often hear things and think "Man that would make a good Low, or a good Lofty. 

As an homage and for fill the void left by missing Lofties and Lows in my life, I present "Trade Up."   These are opposites that I would gladly trade.  It's up to the reader to decide if the former or latter options are preferred.  I suspect my cynicism will give away most of my preferences. 

 Trade Up - Vol. 1

Winter
for
Spring

Buying new stuff
for
(When appropriate) Using it up, Wearing it out, Making it do or Doing without



Parking that white mini van in the drop-off lane at the elementary school every morning.
for
Parking that white mini van anywhere else and walking 12 feet.

f/5.6
for
f/2.8



Websites that ask what country you're in
for
Websites that don't



Bob Bennett
for
(insert any name here)

Believing that KSL, Deseret Book or BYU represent the LDS Church and the Gospel it teaches
for
Reality

Realtors who do not know what they are doing
for
Matt Flinders and Drew Armstrong

Facebook
for
Faces and Books

"Synergy", "Opportunity", "Traction",  or "Poised to Execute"
for
Actual work

Trees
for
Forest

Food poisoning
for
Feeling better than expected




A free lunch
for
The sweat of my brow

Woods of Wisdom (ie: Livin' too much 82)

"Back in '82, I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile"
-Uncle Rico

Recently, Jackyl and I have visited "The Shop" that used to be the center of the family buiness, Woods of Wisdom.  The Shop is a former chicken coop/goat area in Grandaddy's barn that was re-purposed for wood working.  Band say, belt sander, drill press, router, work table, desk etc.  I have many memories of working there with dad making parts for chalkboards.

While poking around, I found a stack of these Woods of Wisdom catalogs.  Its dated 1982.   When Dad had the store on State Street, and when he'd go to the various gift/craft shows around the country, he'd take orders for these items and them make/ship them afterwards.

I think this Woods of Wisdom era deserves a more thorough treatment including Mom and Dads memories etc, but I thought this would be a fun look at the way things were.  :)

I present the official 1982 Woods of Wisdom Catalog:

Babi3s...

Been missing these three like crazy. Finished this little collage that I'm printing at 20"x30". Huge thanks to my sis Cami for taking the great pic of Ruby (top). This is what I needed it for. I rarely saw these darlings during the day so lighting was problematic. I'm grateful that they made the long extended trek here over the Holiday.


ps. A plug for Costco. If you have not yet tried the large prints at Costco, give them a shot. They are cheap (20"x30" is $9ish), quick (1 hour, same as other prints) and do all large sizes in-house now. Over the last year they've gone from doing them elsewhere, to an in-house HP large format printer, to an in-house Epson which I'm really liking. The Epson leaves a 1/4 inch white border which I thought I'd hate...but I actually really like it. After I get this one printed, I'll take a photo of some of these on the wall and add it here so you can see what I mean.

Edit (a few days later):  Like this:

Or this:

The arrangement of the room is a work in progress...it may never be finished.  But I love these large prints.

Funny + Amber = Hilarity

What do you get when you take a funny picture:

...and add Amber?

Yes. You guessed it. Even more funny.

Proceed A Vigorous Game!

I couldn't pass this one up. "The new sport game of the Children" cracks me up.

Convulsing Enter?



Click here for original (or at least, where I found it.)

Dear China: Email me your package copy and within 1 hour, I'll proof it for you and send it back. I mean really...how many people can speak good enough english to fix this stuff? No...no...I take it back. We no fix. Is to funny. Keep talking poorly.

They don't make them like they used to...thank goodness!

Came across this video today and it shocked me a little. I used to (up until 5 minutes ago) that these older cars were so solid that they'd perform better in a crash.

This is a video of a 2009 Chevy Malibu crashing into a 1959 Bel Air.

Though I think we overdo it on safety laws in this country, this video illustrates that the overcorrection is worth it (to me anyway).

Baby Instructions....

I spent a bit of time with my sisters amazing triplets recently. I wanted to make sure I was doing things right. It's been nearly 10 years since I had a baby in the house, and I wasn't at home much back then. My amazing wife did nearly all of the work.

I looked up some how-to's and came across this: Baby Instructions

I found it to be simple and to the point and was able to make a few adjustments to my baby handling techniques. Everyone have a look. . . especially if you'll be around babies anytime soon. You probably forgot some of these basics.

Click the link to see all of them...but here are a few of my favorites.






Note: These images belong to the site linked above. I've written them asking for permission to post them along with the link. I do not recommend looking at any other parts of that site as I can not vouch for their appropriateness.

My reunion on DCI 's DC-eye

The little reunion I helped organize made it to dci.org's DC-eye fan-submitted photos.

Kinda fun. I'm there on the upper right. Here is the DC-eye entry. Here is our little facebook group. This was an epic and unforgettable reunion and night. One of our own even got engaged at the show!

I'm gonna come for juuuu...I'm gonna kill juuuu...

Oh hi morty, hows it goin'?

Website: ThatWillBuffOut.com

This is another great site.  "Great" meaning "A nice mix of Funny and Sad."  Check it out.

http://thatwillbuffout.com/

xo

A great Rube Goldberg

I've always loved these contraptions. This one is particularly well done.


Best Rube Goldberg Ever - Watch more Funny Videos

xo

Do you winterize?

It's cold now, which I love. However, I have learned by sad experience that when it gets cold, it gets snowy, icy and unforgiving. It's time to Winterize. (btw, that title is a paraphrase from Oceans 11. Say it with a southern accent.) Our houses are probably pretty well winterized without much effort. Maybe cover your spigots and empty the water from your PVC sprinkling system pipes. But what about your car? Is it winterized?

A few years ago we were ill-equipped for where we lived and found ourselves not able to either get home or retrieve our son from school on 3 occasions. On one such adventure, the possibility of spending the night in the car did not seem too far fetched. In most cases, we were rescued by someone with a suitable vehicle. (Remember this?)

Granted, that may have been the best (worst?) winter in years, and this year will probably be nothing like it. But...an ounce of prevention and all that.

So here is a list of stuff that you can tro in your car right now. Do it. Even if you get half of this stuff in there you'll feel better...I promise.

Check your spare. You don't wanted to be stranded in the snow without one, or with a flat one.



Gloves. Might be the most important thing. Ever tried to change a spare during a storm without gloves? The possibilities for misery and profanities are endless.


If you go anywhere during the winter without one of these, you're fired. Sure, you're just driving to the store or church...but when something happens and you are walking 1/4 mile home without a coat, you'll question your sanity.


Don't drive with snow on your car. I don't care how cold it is...brush it off. It not only blinds you, but also the people behind you. I have the scraper pictured and it's the best. If you have your gloves and coat with you, this job is actually fun.


A small collapsible shovel (or any shovel) is a must. You can usually dig your car out from being stuck in 5 or 10 minutes, instead of waiting 2 hours for rescue.


I bought these snow chains for our cars. Now when it shows and looks dangerous I am giddy with anticipation. My little rear-wheel drive is a rad (a nighmare) in the snow. But when I add these chains to the back tires, and use the shovel to fill the bed with snow? Forget it. It handles as surely as our 4wd truck. Night and day. Here they are.

Blankets. Emergency or otherwise. If you're stuck in the car for a few hours, you'll be glad you have this (especially if you don't have your coat/gloves).

Snacks. Toss one of your families 72 hours kits in the trunk. When you're in the we-may-be-in-this-car-for-the-next-8-hours mode, you (and your kids) will be glad you have this.

Don't put a gas pump in your trunk, but do keep your car at least 1/2 full all the time. One bad accident on the winter road can turn your 10 minute errand into a 2 hour standstill. If you're near the E when that happens, you're hosed.

Our Governermn recently announced this website about winterizing stuff. Check it out. http://www.wrh.noaa.gov/slc/wxsafety/winterweatherpreparedness.html

To paraphrase Auto-Tune-the-news... driving in winter can turn and LOL...into a great big OMG.

Don't wait..stock up your cars. Someday you'll thank yourself.

Website: There I Fixed It...

This is the best website I've seen in sometime. I think it's has even topped the people of walmart in time-wasting-potential. The photos are great, the solutions are amazing and the titles/cutlines are witty.

Here is the link: There I Fixed It.

An example of the hilarity/awesomeness. My reactions swing evenly between "What in the double H..." and "..(nodding)..Not bad..." (Photo used without permission...I sent an email requesting it...)

For the record, I love any entry that involves zip ties. This one, for example. Or this one.

And I am pretty sure my dad pulled of something very similar to this.

I've been guilty of this, more than once.

Also, when I lived in Indiana I visited several places just like this. (While I may have been exaggerating about most of the links above...this one is true. Here is one such place I've actually been. I've spoken with the guy pictured there. I gave him $2.)

Enjoy that site. Stuff like this makes the craziness all around us bearable.

A tractor tire...forget about it

If you somehow needed another reason to love and be amazed by Les Schwab tire centers, here it is.

Who else can replace a tractor tire? And free popcorn and cable news while you wait.

I wish I was half the man Les Schwab tire center is.

Bitterness ref on TV...

My dude Zack, part of our close-knit UofU 'Team Bitterness' is an up-and-coming football ref in San Diego. Recently he was on TV in one of the High School sports highlights during a news segment. It's easily the most exciting thing I've seen on TV ever. No question.

He's the ref signaling the touch-down during the last two plays on this video. Awesome!



Forgetaboutit.

How to service a bottle jack...

I wrote a sort of how-to on my wiki:

http://themdg.org/wiki/how_to_service_a_bottle_jack

It's about how to repair a hydraulic bottle jack. I bet it works for a hydraulic floor jack too.

Anyway...just throwing that out there.

DCI 2009 post season wrap up...

I had a million posts I never wrote about the 2009 DCI season, but neglected them all. This will have to serve. Here is a screen shot from my favorite dci score checker website, dciscores.com.

It's large, but I think the guys running site do a fantastic job, and their artwork is a bit looked over. So, use it for your desktop for a while, and visit their site a few times.

Here are the top 12 for 2009. A fantastic year for Drum Corps.


Some Highlights and Lowlights:

• Crown! Talk about an up-and-comer. The new kids on the block Carolina Crown continued their upward sprint in the DCI world, landing in an unprecedented 2nd place. Look at their placement from 1992 to 2009: 16, 10, 7, 7, 8, 6, 4, 2. In a word...unstopable. Their past 3 shows have been among my all time favorites.
  
• Troopers (from Casper, WY), one of Americas longest running corps is back in the top 12. (Everyone performs for Quarterfinals, top 18 for Semis and top 12 for Finals.) Troopers haven't been in the Finals for 23 years. Their show was fantastic (West Side Story), and it's nice to see them doing to great this year.
• Vanguard. The Santa Clara Vanguard took 5th place. A bit lower than I'd have liked after seeing their show and warmups several times. Glad to see them in 6th or above though...means they get to keep their director another year. This year also marked the return of J.W. Koester as Tour Director. It's been far too long since J.W.'s been involved with the Vanguard. Welcome back, and please stay!
• Phantom Regiment, what happened? You amazed us last year with your last-second victory over Blue Devils on Finals Night. Give me chills to recall it. Your 2009 show was great, but the scores were not in your favor. Maybe because you lost J.W. Koester this year? Either way...I'm looking forward to what you bring next year. You're one of the most consistently entertaining corps out there. Keep it up.
• Cadets...Thank You! It was so nice to see a normal Holy Name Cadets show this year. After several years of shows being dominated by controversial in-show amplified narration, and NPR like feel-good political correctness, it's nice to have our inside-the-box Cadets back. And what better way to reward your loyal fans than with the old standby, West Side Story.
  
• Blue Devils. I'd really like to know...is it easy for them to win this much? Their 09 show was good. No one could really touch them, as usual. With an impressive lead for Finals (and with their counterpart Blue Devils B corps already winning the Open Class finals), they swept up their 13th Championship with relative ease. Watch out for Crown next year though...they're hungry.

A great year for Drum Corps. Still too much synch and otherwise amplified sound coming from the field. That's a tick if I ever heard one. I didn't cover them here much, but have a look at the open class scores too. So many good corps there. And signup for the DCI Fan Network to view/listen to past shows. (Or come over, and we'll watch them at my place.)

I have a project in the works dealing with past and future DCI scores. It's ambitious, and has some good potential. Stay tuned for that. Or email me if you want to help. Keywords: DCI Scores, Database, Charts/Graphs, PHP, MySQL, Flex. It's a work in progress...it may never be finished.

KNRS on FM...

Good news for talk radio listeners. KNRS (570 am) has made the move to FM. You'll find Lonsberry, Beck, Hannity, Limbaugh and Ramsey on there, not to mention Noory. You can keep Laura. With a growing number of devices featuring FM-only receivers (like my phone), it's nice to have an FM choice besides the increasingly annoying KSL. I can finally dial my listening time on that one down to zero.

The only downer I see is that KNRS is turning off their AM presence soon. Some AM stations come in stronger in remote areas than FM stations. We are gaining some clarity, but could lose some coverage. With stations moving to FM, will AM become a thing of the past (or has it already?)...a place where only strange local stations and foreign music can be found?

This weekend, as I tooled around the Heber and Wasatch valleys on a photo shoot, I found an AM station that was nothing but a guy with a monotone mechanized robot voice repeating cliches, movie lines, and song lyrics along with an occasional announcement of when his CD would be released. I listened for an hour, memorized. Come on...that's good radio. Lets not take that away.

Anyway, give KNRS a listen. It's a nice alternative to the "hey KSL...the early 90's called...they want their broadcasting style back" station on the FM "dial".

<-- Matt

Found this sticky-note in the office today.

Not sure what message the artist is trying to get across.

Unless the arrow is supposed to be an actual arrow.... (gulp)

[Sarcasm Warning] This dude needs our help...

Received this email today. I've highlighted my favorite parts...some of which I will now be using as part of my every day speech. Enjoy, and don't laugh so hard that it takes off your life.

My name is Mr Larry Eze.

I am 75yrs old of age, I stay in New York city USA. i am a good Merchant, i have several Industrial company and good share in various Banks in the world. I spend all my life on investment and corporate business. All the way i lost my Wife and two beautiful kids in fatal accident that occur in November 5th 2008. i am a very greedy man with all cost i dont know much and care about people, since when i have an experience of my lovely ones i felt weak.i found it difficult to sleep and give rest.

Later in the year 2006 February i was sent a letter of medical check up, as my personal doctor testify that i have a lung cancer, which can easily take off my life soon. i found it uneasy to survive myself, because a lot of investment cannot be run and manage by me again.i quickly call up a pastor/prophet to give me positive thinking on this solution, as my adviser.He minister to me to share my property ,wealth, to Motherless baby/orphanage homes/people that need money for survivor both student that needs money/business woman and man for their investment for future rising.

So therefore i am writing this letter to people who are really need help from me both student in college, to contact me urgently so that i can make available preparation on that.especially women of the day, who are divorced by their husband, why they cannot survive the mist of feeding their self.

Please contact me to stop weeping, probably let me know what you really need the money for, and if you can still help me to distribute money to nearest orphanages homes near your town. Now that i am so much with GOD, am now born again.May the lord bless you, as you reach me.send me a reply to this email [redacted].

Thanks and God Bless.
Mr Larry Eze.