Book Review: The Gate Thief by Orson Scott Card

The Gate Thief by Orson Scott Card
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

Move over Stephenie Meyer...there is another Mormon author edging in on the adolescent soft porn market. While I have read and generally enjoy Cards books, this one was too much of a departure*. The main Characters all seem to be obsessed with Sex. Yes, I know that the book is about ancient mythical gods who were quite promiscuous, and that actual teens are obsesses with Sex, but that doesn't mean Card has a responsibility to graphically illustrate this. If it _has_ to part of the story fine... but at least 30% of this book deals directly with Sex. Within these pages, you'll find such gems as "I want you inside me", "but though I didn't want to, I said yes", "at the moment of release", "I want you to put a baby in me", "He's not gay or maybe he is" just to name a few.

Another thing that derailed this story was the main characters over fascination with being a high school student. Fine, Danny starts this book by trying to hide with the normal kids, and have a normal life. But then everything goes nuts, his power increases, and he's the most powerful person on Earth. Right after making a treaty with the volatile families who are at moment coming to kill him and his friends, he stresses about "having missed a whole day of school" and "having to make assignments up later". What? Clearly, his tole as a Gate Father is going to supersede his need to pretend to be in high school.

I found it annoying that Card was trying to jam in current popular cultural references, which he usually does not. "I uploaded it to YouTube", "I guess you didn't get the 'How I Met Your Mother' reference" or "We have a black president". I see what he's trying to do there...draw me in with relevant references... but don't. Go ahead an model your fantasy world after mine, but leave the specifics out of it.

I really sense Cards jealousy of Meyers here. I'd actually feel better if this book was a result of a gentleman's wager. Something like "Oh ya?! Meyer isn't so great. I bet I can write a shallow book about teenage sex and Mormons will still buy it by the case! In fact, they'll sell my teen porn book at Deseret Book." Card, let me know if this is the case, and we can all have a good laugh.

*(I wanted to acknowledge that I know Card is no stranger to having controversial language and sexual themes in his books. I am not as the Zoobies say, shocked and appalled by this. Cuss words and references to sex pepper most of his books. Enders Jeesh loves to swear...and did you ever read "A Planet Called Treason"? Sex and sexual organs and transgender issues galore. Fahgedaboutit.)

View all my reviews

Fast Friends: The five second relationship...

I enjoy shooting action photography...if you can call what I do photography.  For the past 5 years, I have been a weekend warrior for a few national photography companies taking photos at events like Bicycle Races, Running Events, Triathalons, DCI and Marching Band competitions etc. . .   Most of my work is done in and around Utah for Zazoosh, the premier sports event photography company in America.  I've taken over 60,000 photos for Zazoosh. 

I enjoy all these events for different reasons.  The thrill and volume of the sideline.  The excitement at the finish line.  The challenge of capturing a fast moving participant.   Most of the time it's the relaxing solitude of sitting in the middle of beautiful nowhere on a cool summer morning waiting for athletes to make their way past me.

The middle of beautiful nowhere. 

There are some interesting aspects to being a photographer on a race course, as opposed to being a fan.  The first thing I noticed was "the wave."  Athletes love to wave at the camera as they pass.  (I love it too, the photos with smiling and waving generally sell better.)  I realized early on that even though I'm the only human for miles,  the participants aren't waving to me.  They're waving to themselves...or to their friends who might look at the photos.  They're posing.  It's strange to be alone with someone in a remote location, knowing that their smile/wave is not intended for me. Yet, even though they don't know me and are not waving to me...we're still together and isolated.   This seems to be the complementary opposite to someone who was also at Disneyland on the "Busiest day in park history".   In both cases you can say "Yeah, man.  We were there together." 


Except that I'm only together with them for a few seconds. And most of the time, alone.  The lack of a crowd, and the quietude of the location can turn a "Looking Great!" from a benign motivational cheer to an inadvertent flirt.  Ha.

I've learned that a lot can happen in a few seconds, including a whole conversation.  When I can, I try to write down the things that people say.   The following are my notes from a bike race in a beautiful farm road near Kamas, UT.   Most of these are yelled questions and responses as the bikers pass.  One thing bikers and runners don't realize is that when there is NO other sound on these lone country roads, their voices carry for a long way.  I can hear people talking a mile down the course.  The longer one-sided conversation are really eaves drops.  But they're funny. 



Biker to me:  "Where can I find the pictures!?" 

Me:  "Zazoosh.com!"
Bike to me:  "How will I find my photo?"
Me:  "BY YOUR BIB NUMBBEERRRR"  (they were getting further away)

Me:  "Doing great!  Almost to mile 10!"
Biker to me:  "Thanks!"


Biker to friend:  "Is that the guy!?"
Friend to Biker:  "Naawwww...That's one of his hired...uh...he hires people."

Biker to friend:  "Aaahh!  He got a pictures of you passin' me!"

Biker to friend:  "Should we get together for a pic...ahhh...too late.."

This polar bear showed up once

Biker to me:   "It's the photography!"


Biker to me:  "Zazoooooooooosh"


Biker to friend:  "Pfft...they didn't even have my number last time..."


Biker to ?:  "Yee Haw!"


Biker to friend:  "Yeah...things didn't work out.   I sold ALL my furniture.  I was going to move to Barcelona."


Biker to friend:  "He's gonna take our picture!"


Biker to me:  "Have a good one"
Me: "Thanks, you too."


Biker to me:  "    Zazoosh.com"
me:  "Yep."


Biker to me: "Heh...heh heh..."  (The same biker gives me the same exact nervous laugh every time I see her...maybe 5 times over a few years.  It's rather comforting.)


Biker to friend, about me:  "Yeah!  And he's gonna charge you 25 bucks for that too!"


Biker to friend:  "Yeah, and her husband is the executive director of the Tracy Aviary."



Biker to friend:  "Did he get me!?"
Friend to Biker:  "I don't know...I smiled...big!"  (I got them...but they both smiled too late.)


Biker to friend:  "Let me get in front of YOU this time."


Biker to friend:  "They have one of you and me...did I show you?"


Biker to friend:  "We gotta look like we're mean..."


Guy in car with dog:  "(expletive)"  (x2)


Biker to me:  "Hey....there is a guy with a shredded tire back there!"  (x3)  (There was a guy...but I can't stop shooting to support bikers.  I would if someone was seriously injured, of course.  A SAG vehicle came along soon enough.) 

Biker to friend:  "Zazoosh on your left!"


Biker to friend way down the street:  "There's the photographer...lets give him the bird." 
Me:  "Give me the bird..."
Biker to friend, just past me:  "Woa, could he hear us?"
Me, deadpan:  "I could hear you."

Biker to me:  "Peace baby!"


Biker to friend:  "Here it is...grit your teeth!"


Biker to friend:  "How YOU doin'?"

Biker to friend:  "What a ridiculous place for a photo..."


Biker to friend:  "Wow, what a great location for a photo..."  (same location as previous comment)


Biker to me:  "(incomprehensible peanuts-adult speak)?"
Me to biker:  "Probably!"






Jackson has been shooting with me lately as well, and he's getting really good.  His photos are selling, which is fun.  Look at this page, and you'll see "Photographer:  Jackson Graham." 




Here are a few more photos from recent events. 

Ogden Marathon 2010

Timpanogos Trail Marathon 2010 - Really fun Hike/Shoot

Timpanogos Trail Marathon 2010

Timpanogos Trail Marathon 2010

Salem Triathalon 2010

BP on the oil spill.

http://bp.concerts.com/gom/kentwellstechupdatelong053110.htm

13ish minutes video by BP showing current and planned measures to plug the broken oil well.

This is the first thing I've seen that makes me think they can actually stop that oil shenanigan in the Gulf of Mexico.  It's an amazing thing to me that 1) We have oil wells like this and 2) We can work to contain something like this at that depth.  5000+ feet down!  And the pipe they're working on is HUGE.  Look at the cap they're building at about 11:00 in the video.  The whole thing is an engineering marvel.

Also, here is a live feed of the cameras down at the well.  Interesting to see.

http://www.bp.com/liveassets/bp_internet/globalbp/globalbp_uk_english/homepage/STAGING/local_assets/bp_homepage/html/rov_stream.html#

I'm not freaking about the environmental aspects of this.  We've seen oil spills before.  Or ash from a volcano, tsunamis, earthquakes.  It's a horrible thing when these events cause a loss of human life no matter the scale.  It's also sad when peoples livelihoods are destroyed by these kinds of disasters.  Businesses, tourist attractions, homes, etc.  I hope our country lets capitalism do it's job here.  Let people move their homes, or businesses.  Let them clean, rebuild and start over.

If the govt. gives financial aid to those affected, let it be limited to the basic necessities rather than acting as ("free") 100% replacement insurance.   And let the animals fend for themselves.  They can do it.  Unlike us, they have working survival instincts.  I doubt you'll see bus loads of seals and pelicans lining up at shelters demanding food, or animal families sitting on their rocks for days with signs that say "SOS" while they languish...all the while checking for cellular reception.

I see London, I see France...

I see Saratoga Springs' underpants...


I was looking at google maps today, and noticed that a neighborhood a few miles south of us definitely looks like tighty whiteys.  "So...where you livin' now dude?  Up on the elastic still?  Or down on the fly?" 

Props to Drew for helping me figure out (without hesitation) how to use an apostrophe.  

The Death Throes of a Politician...

It's interesting to watch the communications from politicians as an election approaches.  This year is especially active as there seems to be general distrust and and dissatisfaction with our current gaggle of Senators.  And they know the gravy train is about to come to a stop.

Can they all be bad?  Probably not...but it reminds me the baggie in the refrigerator that holds the cheese.  The block in the bag has that one little mold spot on there.  Even when you cut that section out, you can't shake the feeling that the rest of the block is a little infected...or maybe it's the bag...the fridge drawer?  You just KNOW that next time you look at the cheese, there will be another spot. 

I get emails from Bob Bennett more and more frequently.  I don't understand his tactics.  From our recent caucus and precinct meetings, I get the idea that people are fed up with our non-representative representatives.  Yet, Mr. Bennetts emails all have a tone of "Dudes...I am TOTALLY doing a good job.  No one else can do this job.  I am the King of Utah.  Vote for me!"

Today in his email, he moved predictably into threats.  Yes...threats aimed not only at everyone living in Utah, but to the existence of the state itself.  Here it is, with my interpretations. 

Matt,

"Without Bob Bennett, our water rights are at risk. No Utah water means no Utah growth. We can't afford to lose Bob. (Yes...without "Bob", Utah will crumble. Literally.  The mountains and buildings will turn to dust.) - Sandy Mayor Tom Dolan

Without Bob Bennett in the Senate, Utah's prospects dry up.  (Get it...cause the email is about water...Bwaaahahaaha)

Extreme environmentalists want to drain Lake Powell (as they have for 50 years). Other states want to take our share of the Colorado River.
Senator Bennett has been there to stop them.  (I am glad he was there.  Pretty sure that falls into the job description.)

Senator Bennett has made it illegal for the federal government to consider breaching the Lake Powell Dam. (Shoot...he can make stuff illegal all by himself?!  Does he use some sort of Senatorial Decree to do this?  Is he a Jedi?  Either way...wow..  impressive.) And his tireless efforts for the Central Utah Project and the Rural Utah water program he created have ensured that Utah has enough water to keep up with its phenomenal growth.  (Check these stats...Utah population has certainly grown, but if it's phenomenal, some of our surrounding states are super-astronomical!  Without the programs he created, all those moving to Utah would have died of thirst. And clearly no other Senator would ever fight for water issues in Utah (reported by some to be a desert).)

Senator Bennett is in line to become chairman of the Energy and Water Appropriations Subcommittee, which will help Utah immensely. (...and it will help Utah because as chairman he will...  oh yes...have a fancy new job and awesome street cred.  He can perform amazing under the table deals for Utah.  Juuust what we want more of in DC.)   A freshman senator would have to wait years to have that kind of influence.  (Those lousy freshmen senators...always sitting around doing nothing but voting for what their constituents want.  Arrrg.) 

Before you vote, know what the consequences are.  (Whammy!...the threat.  Not "Thank you for voting me in 2719831 times already...  I see that we're out of touch a little, friends.  Here are the things I will do in the future to try and regain your trust."  Instead we get "Vote for me, OR ELSE!  If I can't have Utah, NO ONE will..."  Mr. Bennett...that attitude is exactly why we're tired of you and your buddies.)

Sincerely,
Blah blah blah...

This scramble for power reminds me of the evil Master Control Program (MCP) from the film Tron (1982).  When it realizes it has lost, but is still fixed in its place of (failing) power, the usually infuriatingly calm and smug MCP loses control, trying desperately to hold on to it's authority. . .looking this way and that. . .spinning wildly . . . talking nonsense, until it eventually ceases to exist.  An event noted on the console with "END OF LINE"

 Who's knows what will happen between now and Novembers election, but I imagine that most Utahns won't vote based on the threats presented here.  I'm not buying that our current Senators are Utah's only hope for any kind of recognizable future.

End of Line, Mr. Bennett.

Hubble 3D - Astounding and Humbling...

The Clark Planetarium in Salt Lake City is currently showing Hubble 3D in it's IMAX theater, among other shows. 

Technically, the film was awesome.  I've never seen 3D like this.  The theater was nice and cool, and the sound was great.  Leocarpo Dinardio does a fine job narrating.  The Clark Planetarium is located at the Gateway Center mall in Salt Lake City.  Movie tickets cost $8 for adults and $6 for kids.  Discount tickets ($5 for any age) are available at CityDeals.com, but you need to order in advance.  They'll either mail them, or you can pick them up the next business day. 

I'm having a hard time coming up with words to describe the movie content.  Watching this story of how the Hubble Space Telescope was built and launched into space, and repeatedly repaired during NASA Shuttle missions was the best 45 minutes I've spent in a theater in the past decade.  Possibly in my life.  I spent most of the time at a loss for words and with my mouth involuntarily wide open.

It was difficult to keep my emotions in check as I saw the breath-taking images and contemplated the enormity of space which took on a new meaning for me during this film.  God has an amazing thing going here.  A...maze...ing.  And the Hubble Telescope brings it a little closer. 

An interesting look at GM and Toyota

This weeks episode of This American Life is a very interesting look at GM and Toyota and their successes and failures over the years.

As Toyota pulled ahead of GM during the 80's, they opened their doors to GM to help them produce better cars. GM couldn't handle the implementation and is now on Government welfare. After listening to this episode, I am no longer surprised at GM's failure and Toyotas success. I also don't see any hope for the future of auto manufacturing in the USA as long as the Unions are providing the labor.


In my opinion, if GM continues to ignore all advise and lessons from history, it will continue to be owned by the US Government. Sadly, this means that overpaid and over-powerful workers will continue be rewarded (with my tax dollars) for making poor quality cars.

However if Toyota follows their own advise, it will come away from it's recent failures stronger than ever.

NUMMI | This American Life

PHOTO: Courtesy of New United Motor Manufacturing Inc.